PARTY POOPERS!

    After attending a truly enjoyable children’s party, my thoughts meander towards some negative behavioral tendencies of Filipinos …… in parties.

     First offense I immediately recall is our propensity to be late for events.  Without considering it, we add to the concerns of our hosts since they plan and structure the party program following a certain time frame.  As a solution, most invitations announce the event for an earlier time than what it would actually be.  The reasoning is that guests can come late but still be on time; if ever there is such a thing.  As if a wrong can right another wrong!   Sheesh!  A lot of people think it is fashionable to be late!

     This brings to mind a story I read somewhere about ambassadors and members of diplomatic communities cruising around the venue of an event to time their arrival at the appropriate moment stated in the invitation. 

     In ordinary Filipino life, woe to those who arrive on time because they will be met by a somber venue with even the celebrators in absentia!  You will even find the caterer’s personnel in the process of setting up tables, chairs and food dishes.  Now, if the venue is booked for the ACTUAL time that the hosts planned, you will also have to sweat it out because for sure, the air-conditioner is yet not turned on.  Thankfully, the party starts but the room, nevertheless, is half empty.  The hosts are constrained to start so the program commences. 

    And, now I go to our second misdemeanor in parties….

     When the party starts, guests, especially because they arrived late, get so involved in their personal chitchat that you seldom find even a handful paying attention to what the program emcee/party host is saying.  It seems like a most difficult task for the emcee to get the audience and party guests to participate in the fun and games.  Painfully, I have often witnessed party hosts pulling out all the tricks of their trade just to get the guests to dive into the party mood and get things going; just like a dentist extracting a molar. 

     I’ve experienced one party where the party host just totally gave up the idea of games because even with a prepared list of participants, no one stepped up to join!  It looked like the guests were there just to dance to the band’s music.  Segueway to after the program,  the band started to play and only a couple or two stood up to dance.  So it was not the music they were waiting for.  Thus, the party ended with the band, which was booked for THREE (3) sets of play, not even finishing their first set because the room suddenly emptied.  It gave me a feeling that the guests only came for the food which was certainly good, by the way!  What an epic fail of a party and what a waste of money! 

     Anaconda also told of a wedding party where when the groom was to give his thank-you spiel, only members of the couple’s families and some closest of friends remained.  The groom commented that “ay wala nang tao” ( oh, the guests have gone!)  Again, the idea that they only came for the food started to niggle. 

     Third common error we commit during parties is actually just the fault of the sound technicians.  They tend to play some of the loudest music during meal time.  Without realizing that this is the only instance when guests could interact with each other and catch up with goings-on, the sound men, with the blessing of the hosts, come up with a play list of the songs.  Unfortunately, they seem to think that they need to fill the venue with the sounds.  The music just utterly blares that you could hardly hear yourself.  

     I regularly comment to hosts that when guests come to your event, they indirectly honor you and the occasion you wish to celebrate.  Gifts are inconsequential because once a person confirms his/her attendance, he/she starts to incur a sizable expense by travelling to and from the venue on top of ensuring that he/she is wearing the right attire for the occasion.  Hey – have you checked out the prices of fuel and clothes and shoes these days?  It goes without saying that most people move around in the same circle of friends and associates and, therefore, meet the same people again and again in parties.  One, therefore, cannot wear the same attire to each and every occasion. 

     On the other hand, guests should realize that when they are invited, hosts are simply saying that they are an important part of the hosts’ lives and that they would like to share this occasion with the guests.  To return this compliment, guests should immediately take the effort to RSVP or respond to the invitations so that the hosts could draw up an accurate count for their preparations.  Guests must likewise ensure that they are appropriately attired in accordance with the party motif.  Once at the party, it is common courtesy to listen and watch the program that the hosts have prepared.  When called on to participate, do let your hair down and plunge right into the activity.  Allow the hosts to set the party mood and direction.  All you need to do is pay attention and enjoy!  No one wants a killjoy and a party pooper as guest!  It is a sure ticket to being uninvited the next time around and you will stew in your own ignorance wondering why! 

    And, for heaven’s sake, do not make a French leave!  Have the decency to properly say your goodbyes to the hosts.  Express to them how much you have enjoyed the party and the company and sincerely mean it. 

     Keep in mind – tardiness is rudeness.  It is inconsiderate. 

     Remember, too, that you are attending a party and not a wake!  Put your game face on and bring your jubilant party mood for everyone to share!